some words
by Tavi Lorelle Carpenter
In light of violence that has happened on the campus of my alma mater, I want to share a poem I wrote during my time at UCLA.
I wrote it as part of my final thesis for a section titled: Thoughts For the Future. As I was studying California indigeneity, the poems that I included were a necessary part of my processing ability to analyze “data” that was interwoven with my own identity.
sometimes i think what would this country look like if it hadn’t been raped and pillaged(, continues to be raped and pillaged).
what would the land look like?
(because my ancestors cared about their land, saw it for the living thing it is and understood how to care for it as it cared for them.)
what knowledge would we know?
(would there be answers to the big questions that we all face as our world confronts huge challenges? would they even still exist?)
what would my family be like?
(would there be more of us? what rituals would we have? what meals would i help prepare?)
who would i be?
my heart weighs heavily thinking what might have been
And do not tell me to not dream of a world that will never come to pass.
Don’t tell me to not dwell on the what if or if only
Do not belittle or try to lessen this wound
it is open
and bleeding
The grief of genocide is multigenerational and the process of healing becomes impossible when oppression is continuous.
But it is by coming together in community that we build resilience, it is within the care we have for each other that we start to heal and it is by standing up against the colonial project and their tactics of violent oppression that our endurance transcends into survivance.
As a California Indigenous woman, I see the parallels between what has happened to my people and our homeland and what is happening in Palestine. I was so proud to see that the students at my university had joined the encampments across the country, standing in solidarity with the Palestinian people and demanding that UCLA stand firmly against genocide.
The UCLA institution’s decision to not protect the peaceful protestors, their own students, is a stain that will haunt UCLA for years to come.
As one about to join UCLA once again, this time as a PhD student in the fall, I’ve considered what this new reality means, it adds an additional layer of complex feelings I already have as an Indigenous person going into the field of Anthropology.
But for now, I will end with the words my friend and UCLA peer, Jesse, just shared with me: “I believe what we do, does sincerely lead to change. It happens slowly. And sometimes it’s not so apparent, it’s subtle”.
#FreePalestine
*These words are a reflection of my own expressions, beliefs and values and do not necessarily reflect the views of Heyday or News From Native California.
